How to control other people?

I just wanted to let you know that YOU cannot control other people. Or can you? There has been a lot of debate on the subject in the past few years, especially as it pertains to “The Law of Attraction”. Some have wondered if you can use the law of attraction to control others. Here are my thoughts on the subject, as I think it is a very important one, especially as it pertains to other people. First let me say, that I believe in a creator of the universe and I call that creator GOD. Some call him/her Mother Nature, Mother Earth, Jehovah, or Allah. My intention here is not to thump you over the head with religious jargon. My intention is to help you create a breakthrough as to why you may struggle in controlling others.

Let’s first talk other people as it pertains to your thoughts, visions, and goals. Many who have used, “The Law of Attraction”, have made mention that while they continually visualized their intention, people just showed up out of the blue willing to help. Or they visualized this special person showing up and next thing they know they are married to him/her. For example: If I was starting a record label, which I actually did. I first created an intention and knew pretty much exactly what I wanted to accomplish early on. Within a few months an investor showed up with the money, so I could open the record label. That is called creating an intention and it works very well. But this is different than controlling others. This is creating an end result, and the piece of the puzzle comes together, because of your faith in this intention – its very very very powerful. This is very different than control – here is why. Let’s say your spouse has left you for another man/women. You don’t understand why, but it hurts you and you want him/her back. You visualize everyday about this person returning to your arms and you create the intention of this person coming back and guess what? They don’t return. The reason for this is that you have limited control over people, as it pertains to getting people to do or act the way you expect them to. You see, God gave us all a wonderful gift of FREE WILL. This is something that even God lets go of, if he wanted to control us he would have made us all robots. If God cannot control FREE WILL, who am I to think differently. I hope that made sense.

The above also applies to network marketing or business, not just relationships. I have brought in many networkers into my business ventures who I thought were going to do great. I give them all the tools, mentoring, etc. AND GUESS WHAT? They still don’t do anything and quit within a few days or weeks - that is called Free Will. It’s the greatest gift we have all been given – I really believe that. But if you don’t get it, you can become insane – I have. Believe me, in the past I tried to play God on many occasions and came up disappointed in others, which led to my own demise.

Remember if your employees, husband/wife, partner, business partner, network marketing team are not performing to your liking. It could be that their FREE WILL is making them make the choices that you may not agree or like. I challenge you this week to let go of people and turn them over. The best thing you can do when you feel like people aren’t reacting/behaving the way you want them to, is to simply let go and pray for them.

Are you holding onto something?

It's been said that we can paralyze ourselves and our futures through our resentments. If you find yourself stuck in the middle and not able to move forward, it could quite simply be that you are holding onto something that you really really really need to let go of. I had a resentment that I held onto for over 25 years. This resentment ate me up inside like cancer and I didn't know what to do with it. Quite honestly, I didn't even know how serious it was hindering me until I attended a seminar in 2007. During this 3 day seminar I was able to recognize that this resentment was not only holding me back from a healthy relationship with this person, but it was causing me to fall short in almost every area of my life. I simply had to just let it go and forgive this person. And what a relief it was once I did - AMAZING!

As you go through this new year, I would encourage you to do some self exploring to see if there is any area of your life where you too can let go. I would challenge you to dig deep inside to see if there is anyone or anything that you are hanging onto. You see if someone has caused you great pain or hurt, you don't need to necessarily forget what they have done to you, for some that would be as impossible as walking on water. However, you can take those isolated feelings/memories and turn them over, or LET GO. If you have harmed another person, you can ask that person for forgiveness (but even more importantly forgive yourself). If you feel you can't ask this person for forgiveness in person, write them a letter (you don't even need to share it). Don't always expect others to forgive you, but getting it out there can be a huge release. If nothing less, I can certainly promise you, that if you clean your past and learn to let go and forgive, you will start living a life with way more peace & serenity.

This new life will not only help you achieve more satisfaction in your relationships, but it will also give you so much liberation inside that you will have way more to offer to others. As Ghandi once said, "Become the change you want to see in the world."

let me suggest 4 things you can do immediately to help you achieve Nirvana in your life right now:

* A willingness to be honest with yourself and others
* A willingness to forgive and let go
* A willingness to be kind to yourself and others (Love is an action)
* A willingness to be grateful everyday no matter what (gratitude is the beginning to prosperity)

Happy Valentines Day!

I just wanted to take a moment and send you some extra love, so you know that you are loved. So as you go through this day, hopefully with your loved one, remember to spread some love around. It's been said that love is not a feeling, but an action. Unfortunately for me it took me many years to figure that out. Love is something you give without expecting anything in return. I like to call it unconditional love (love without conditions). But more importantly, you must love yourself first, before you can love others. So if you feel like your missing something in YOU, than make today the day that you begin to start loving YOU.

James Arthur Ray

I have been following the events lately of James Arthur Ray one of the top self help guru's in the world. Remember the movie The Secret? In case you didn't know James Ray has been locked up in jail for over a week now in Arizona as he is being charged for 3 counts of manslaughter. I personally, invested a few thousand dollars last year to go and see James Ray 2 times, and I can honestly say that he was great!

Fortunately, I was able to meet James at one of the events and I just don't think he needs to be locked up. Yes, this was a horrible tragedy and yes the deaths could have probably been prevented, but I think to charge James Ray criminally is wrong. This should be a civil matter between the families of the victims and Mr. Ray. Certainly, I cannot see how they can hold him responsible for the deaths when each person could have left the tent on their own. The only way I could see him being responsible is if he actually closed the entryway and kept people from leaving and held them hostage. These people were all adults. I had to sign a 2 or 3 page liability release when I attended one of James 3 day seminars. We were told while attending this event that the Spiritual Warrior Event was the toughest of them all. I'm sure most people knew what they were getting into. anyhow would love to hear your comments below.

A Winning Attitude

If you're a New Orleans Saints fan, I'm sure you are over the moon that your team won The Super Bowl today. In case you missed it - The Saints were underdogs by a margin of 4 or 5 points depending on which spread you looked at. Many thought it would be a blow-out with Manning and The Colts coming out on top - SURPRISE!

That is kind of how life works as well. We may have the odds stacked against us and people saying we aren't going to win, and somehow we come out on top. Maybe it's that relationship that everyone said wasn't going to work, or that job you'd never get. Maybe it was that promotion, or education. Whatever it is, nothing can replace a good attitude. The Saints played today like they knew they were going to be victorious. I mean whoever in a big game would kick an on-side kick in the 2nd Quarter when your only trailing by a few points? They even opted for a touchdown on 4th down in the 2nd quarter when they could've easily just taken a field goal and gotten the game within a few points. I must say they played the game with a good attitude.

You see, your attitude is more important than you think. Unlike a football game it isn't really so much about winning. The above example was purely to show you that you can still come out on top, and take some risks, even if the odds are stacked against you. I personally believe your attitude is more important than your skill-set, your education, your bank account, and even your health. It's been said your attitude will determine your altitude. One of my all time favorite quotes on attitude was written by a preacher named Chuck Swindoll. He said it the best ever, "Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it." Life will not always be easy. You may be going through a challenge right now. Maybe your the underdog like The Saints, or maybe everything is great and your attitude just needs a minor adjustment. With all that being said, your attitude is what is going to get you through whatever is going on in your life. Life will not always be easy, I have had
some tough days in recent times myself. But I know at the end of the day, my attitude will make me or break me.

Making a Difference

Today is the first day of the new month for 2010. Can you believe we already went through 1 entire month? It just seems like it flew by to me. As a matter of fact, I think time speeds up as you get older - ha ha. Anyhow, my goal today is to motivate you to make a move. Not a move that is normal, like getting out of bed, or taking a shower. But a move that says, "I want to make a difference in the world." What does it mean to make a difference? For some it may be becoming a better husband or father. For others it could be volunteering at your church, or making a difference in your community by making a financial contribution to a charity you believe in. Maybe you want to adopt an orphan, or become a foster parent. You might be a company owner and want to go Green to help our planet, and set an example for your employees. The point is, that the difference whatever it be, needs to be important to you. For myself, I enjoy empowering others through writing, coaching, and social media. I also enjoy being a good parent to my 7 year old son. My challenge for you today is simple, make a move to make a difference. Find that passion inside of you and give some time and energy to that intention. Not only will you feel better about yourself, but you will be doing something significant.